"How Much Longer?"

"How much longer?", "How many more contractions?", "When will my baby be in my arms?", 

"Am I almost done?", "Am I getting closer?", "What time is it?", "Oh really, how much longer?"

The unknown of WHEN is the concern in many home births. The heightened knowledge of time passing without the knowledge of how much longer is present constantly. It is surrounding and swirling and filling every nook and cranny of mind and space. 

The bigger picture is that we are taught to be efficient. We are taught to race to the finish. We are taught that if we can't accomplish things quickly, we have failed. But birthing like many things in our lives is not about speed. It is about allowing the moments to unfold, allowing the time to pass as we slowly approach the end that is a new beginning. The mind needs to surrender. The body needs to flow. Each cell of the body needs to embrace the pace. This slowness and surrender enables the flow into "labor land" where time is insignificant and no longer matters. 

When we share space with someone fully surrendering and embracing "labor land", our only job is to surrender our attachment to time restraints and allow the energy to flow.  As the energy of surrender increases, every nook and cranny of mind and space fills with patience and peace. The primal brain activates and allows the body to soften, open, and release. The attention to time washes away. The peace of being in "labor land" washes over. And the end becomes a new beginning as the first lusty cry fills the room.

When I'm dancing, it's like my heart is singing

When my son, Eli, was 3, he happily exclaimed,"When I'm dancing, it's like my heart is singing". I knew that dancing filled his life with joy and could feel the jubilation in his words but I didn't look much deeper. When he was 6 or 7, I took him to see Deborah Mills, an amazing healer that we had been working with for years and years. As she worked on him, an elated look crossed her face and she stated,"well, I've never seen this before. The energy in his root chakra (his feet) wraps around and connects to his heart". I instantly remembered his 3 year old jubilant voice.

This connection and the idea that we can be connected energetically and invisibly to ourselves and others has fascinated me always. I have looked closely and have "seen" these invisible connections. I saw it when my mom showed up at school to get me even before I called her to say I was sick. I saw it when our cat wouldn't leave our dog, Jewelle, when she was so close to death. I saw it when my great grandmother knew that her daughter was passing even though she was miles away. 

And I see it over and over and over again in my practice as a midwife. I see it when the phone rings just as the baby is born as the new grandmother calls to check in and get an update. I see it when the baby that is having a slow transition to the extra uterine world perks up as the family members welcome them with coos and rubs. I see it when the siblings assess the energy in the birthing room and decide where they feel the most comfortable. 

This invisible yet palpable energy is around us always, in every moment, in every situation. How we handle and share it can determine our mood, our day and the mood and the path of the day for others. The energy we bring into birth can determine the memories of the family, the memories that last a lifetime. We are the keepers and senders of our own energetic connections. Consciously maintaining and sending clear positive energy maintains clear positive connections. One positive connection can calm or diminish another negative connection coming from another source. The spirals of energy swirling around us can be channeled and spread. We too can feel our heart singing when we dance.